​“No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for.”                                                                                                                                                       -Martin Luther King Jr.

Here I am finally getting to write this post, well just a post in general. I’m really bad at keeping to a schedule when it comes to things like this. I’m not good at motivating myself or getting things done unless there is the slightest of consequences from others. But on the other hand I am pretty damn good with motivating and getting myself through painful situations. But not enjoyable ones…like blogging. Weird.

Anyway. The fight is not over. It is far from it. The LGBTQI+ community will continue to face discrimination and opposition despite the Supreme Court ruling on 6/26. People are ignorant and stubborn. Once something is traditionally “set in stone” they think it actually is. But in reality the stone can be broken or something new can be etched over the existing belief, rule, writing or whatever we should call it.

​This is especially true for the church. As I fell asleep last night, I recalled the opposing side’s arguments for the “Gay vs. God” debate. All points are valid and I understand them, but as I broadened the points into general categories I came to the conclusion that each point falls under 3 categories: ignorance, tradition and pride. Some people are following tradition. Some people are just ignorant and a little investigation would serve to enlighten them greatly. Some people have done their research and made their decision based on tradition and the Apostle Paul’s unclear and sexist comments. These people also refer to creation and Old Testament texts, but if you look at the exegesis and hermeneutics of those texts and use different types of biblical interpretation you would see that ignorance and circumstances during the writing of the texts would point you to have to agree that homosexuality was being condemned for reasons far from any moral position, and is not applicable today. So…these people, though I respect and appreciate for being open and ridding their ignorance, I believe to be prideful in their decisions, and thus arrogance sets in.

Now of course this group of people range in their pride and arrogance. In fact one of my professors falls in this category, but pride and arrogance would be the last words I would use to describe him. When I gave a presentation in his class giving my side of the argument he claimed all my sources to be discreditable. Keep in mind he gave me the sources and told me they were good and valid sources. Plus they fit into his very strict research guidelines. So you can imagine how confused and frustrated I was at this. My professor is stuck in his belief. He has revisited the topic, and in fact does almost every semester, but he has one idea about how to disprove my side and support his, and he is stubborn in that thought, and because it is the common belief and makes more sense, I do not believe he will change it or consider doing so. And in that way he has closed off his mind and become stubbornly prideful.

Of course when you argue that homosexuality is not a sin similar things can be said, but I just could not wrap my head around the arguments. And I was even more in shock that was me just a year ago. However now I know the truth. And although many churches are not open and affirming there are some. Going to Pride I got to see this, and it restored hope for me. Hope in what I’ve based my entire life off of. Hope in God and the Christian faith.

At the pride parade we saw signs that listed churches in Chicago that were welcoming, and places/websites where people could find an affirming church. At the time, I was on the brink of no longer considering myself a Christian. In fact there was time not too long ago where I would have rather worshiped satan than God. Seeing the signs for some reason changed that.

I have still yet to forgive those that hurt me. I am still trying to heal and forgive, and it annoys me how long it is taking. And it annoys me that I haven’t found the right church yet (granted I just started looking not too long ago). I’m dying for a community. I keep comparing what I find with what I had. I am trying to move on, but what I had was so perfect and fit me so well. Maybe I won’t leave the covenant. I don’t know. I’ll pray and keep looking.

But as I continue to search for home church. I will fight. Fight for further equality. For equality in the church. For the truth.

Love and Faith,                                                                                                                       
Melanie J. Lofgren
 
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”                                                                                                                                              –Martin Luther King Jr.