Forests are my happy place!
Thanks for stopping by!
My website started off as my blog, which allowed me to process and cope with life, and it continues to be today; however mostly aims to inspire, uplift, and advocate for marginalized communities and individuals.
My website also connects you to my business, Mel Lofgren Fitness, which in the future will include a spiritual and mental care piece as well. You can also find some information about my speaking career.
I look forward to hearing from you and hope you enjoy my site!
About Melanie
I am Melanie! I was born, raised, and educated in Chicagoland. I am a university graduate of North Park University. There I obtained a BA in psychology with a minor in Biblical & Theological Studies. I received a Master’s in theology with a concentration in entheogens (religious psychedelics) from the University of Redlands. I have two older sisters, and two brothers (both through marriage). I live in Seattle and work as a personal trainer. I have a few different passions and areas of expertise from both my academic and personal life.
Below is part of my story and journey through the lens of those areas of expertise that have shaped who I am today.
SPIRITUAL LIFE
I grew up an evangelical Christian but have since left Christianity for a more versatile faith that better suits my brain and spiritual understanding. While I do not identify as a Christian, I do find inspiration and opportunities for growth from it. Regardless, I currently practice a multi-religious spirituality based in earth spiritualities and teachings that focus on love and uplifting disenfranchised folk.
Shortly after coming out as a queer person to my immediate family and close friends, my youth pastor somehow figured out I was in a queer relationship and outed me to my employers. I was then let go from two positions and learned that the love I received from my church and denomination was conditional. After lots of therapy and attending seminary, I have worked through this betrayal and found that my religious practice was blind, out of obligation, and based on the fear of disappointment and going to hell; not in love.
Learning that I never loved myself also came along with this journey. I was so focused on loving others, giving others grace, and becoming the ideal depiction of a Christian that I neglected myself. So much so that I inflicted punishment on myself when I stepped out of line. I was trapped in a cycle of self-harm and suicidal ideation because of it. Loving myself and releasing myself from the bounds of Christian expectations freed me from the chains I, my church, and my pastor had placed on me.
Today my practice and belief are about what suits me at the moment. So one day, I find challenge and grace in Christianity; while other days, I find hope, inspiration, and motivation in Hinduism. I find resiliency and the strength to press on in Judaism, and I find wisdom and connection from the Earth. My mental health also comes into play with how I practice and what I can believe, and when. Having ADHD, depression, and anxiety means I understand and experience things differently from most people. I was developmentally delayed and lacked critical thinking skills for quite some time; thus, I did not have the ability or a reason to question anything told to me from the pulpit or a religious leader, causing me to not only accept everything said to me as truth but also to feel shame when I messed up in any way and also took it to unhealthy extremes.
I love to climb trees! Can you spot me?
MENTAL HEALTH
I have struggled with mental illness for the majority of my life. I contemplated and planned my first suicide attempt in fourth grade. I have had a depression diagnosis since age 12, and with that came anxiety. I have always masked it very well (because of the societal and religious stigma). At age 26, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD, which can explain where some of the depression and anxiety came from. So managing my ADHD, in turn, helps with my depression and anxiety.
From age 19 to 22, I was sexually assaulted (to varying degrees) more times than fingers I have. So, of course, a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis followed suit, along with many hours and a lot of money put into therapy. I still experience some post-traumatic stress (PTS) from time to time, as many trauma survivors do.
Using entheogens and sacred plants has helped me tremendously in my mental health journey and trauma recovery! Read the “entheogen” section below for more on this. I also use fitness to manage my mental health and regulate my emotions. Continue to learn about this.
FITNESS
Exercise has been one of the primary ways I engage in self-care and regulate my mental health. Working out regularly not only improves cognition and brain function but also helps to regulate emotions, improve memory, and provide an opportunity for healing from various traumas. My fitness journey began in 2019 by signing up for a cardio kickboxing studio. After just 9 months, I became a coach at the gym! Working out requires you to be present and think about what you are doing, in turn leaving little space to think about anything else. If an unwanted thought does creep in, I use it to fuel my workout. I actually have found that when I go to the gym emotional I am more likely to reach a PR (personal record)!
Kickboxing and simply moving my body have radically supported my trauma recovery. It gave me agency over my body and confidence in myself again.
I have found for myself that if I go 4-5 days without working out, my depression and anxiety come out to play more intensely and frequently. Fitness, for me, is less about physical goals and more about mental health maintenance and joy. I enjoy lifting heavy things, swimming, dancing, doing HIIT, pilates, and yoga. I love kickboxing and am anxious with anticipation to get back into MMA, and occasionally I will run for the discipline. What is important is finding joy, healing, and confidence in whatever I do.
So I got my personal training certificate (CPT) to help others to do the same! I help people learn how to incorporate exercise and movement according to their mental health needs and busy schedule.
ENTHEOGENS
Entheogens are psychoactive substances, usually plants, used in spiritual and religious practices. Some examples included tobacco, cannabis, and psilocybin (magic mushrooms). These plants have been used for thousands of years for religious and medicinal purposes, and it was only in the past 100 years or so that they became taboo. The negative perspectives and push for criminalization came with the War on Drugs and the fear of the “non-American.” So, they were ultimately criminalized, and the communities they were found in were demonized and locked up. The communities that were searched and still are being searched are predominantly communities of color and impoverished communities.
My journey began with cannabis. I am a regular user and have been able to come off all my medication because of it. This is neither good nor bad; everyone’s journey and needs are different. Some people will need pharmaceutical medication for the rest of their life, and some people cannot consume cannabis or other substances for various reasons.
Nevertheless, I was tired of switching meds every year, tired of the side effects, and not feeling like myself. I am now knowledgeable enough about cannabis to know which strains, terpenes, and cannabinoids are good for what I need and when. I know how much to use and what routes of administration are best for my intentions. I know to pay attention to my environment and mindset to asses if I should even consume. I also use cannabis in my spiritual life to enhance my understanding of the divine and the universe. Part of adult drug use is proper education and self-awareness.
Microdosing and cannabis have allowed me to look at my life and traumas and work through them without feeling overwhelmed or scared. Entheogens allow me to be grateful even on the darkest days. They have helped me to process my experiences with the church and understand my mental health.
Without entheogens and fitness, I would not be as far as I am in my recovery.
My Dream
I desire to create a place where people can work on their mental health through physical fitness and entheogen journeys. I wish to use Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to help my clients heal and understand their trauma, and I will utilize IFS in both my fitness and entheogen services. I am not certain what this will look like, and I still have some education and certifications to obtain first. Perhaps a brick-and-mortar community or an online community, but hopefully both. At the core of it, I want to provide base-level health services and trauma recovery at an accessible price for persons who are unable to receive this care due to situational and/or financial limitations.
For now, I do individual fitness coaching and in-person guided journeys. I want people to know that healing can and will take many different forms. I offer two ways to help manage life with mental illness- fitness and entheogens. You can use both or just one. It’s your journey, your story. I am not here to tell you how to heal; I simply support you along the way.
Adventures that go as planned are not truly adventures!
My grandma likes to call me a jack of all trades- but neglects the master-of-none part. Here are some of those trades and some random facts!
I am a stoner gym rat- if you haven’t already gathered that
I have relationships with trees & love climbing them
I often create sound effects to match the current situation
I love baking and writing, but I don’t do enough of them
I used to be lactose intolerant (yes, I used to be. I no longer am!)
I love public speaking
I am constantly seeking self-improvement
I enjoy learning
I gave a TEDx talk on microaggression (see the video below)
Two Truths & A Lie- want to break the ice? Send me your guess!
I broke a brick in half with my head when I was 3 years old.
I didn’t know I was dating someone until after they broke up with me.
I have 4 fewer teeth than the average human adult.