FILL IN THE BLANK. Originally published on 3/21/2016

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."   ~Friedrich Nietzsche


This is a poem/spoken word I wrote my junior year in high school that I wanted to share. It gets at the why I live and the meaning I often find in suffering. I hope you find what you need to from it, or just simply enjoy it.


Fill In the Blank
By: Melanie J. Lofgren
 
I’m the majority,
I have no authority,
I’m not poor,
But I definitely could use more.
I’m a teen,
And I have a routine.
 
Every day I would rise.
I would go around, look at people and surmise.
I had no mercy.
I had no gramercy.
 
March nine, twenty-ten,
I fell deep, deep into a den.
My worthless,
Hopeless,
Stupid,
Crash
Self
Was all I could see.
Others would assume me to be
Energetic,
Happy,
Proud,
Kind,
Willing,
And forgiving.
Oh but how I wished to kiss that self,
But she’s gone, long gone.
 
June Eighteen, twenty-ten,
The reason I go,
The reason I know,
The reason I cry,
The reason I will not die,
The reason I give,
The reason I live.
Is because of the One who gave
Who saves,
Who loves,
Who was, is and always will be the One.
The one giver of life,
The one redeemer,
The one who died for me
For us.
 
I drift away.
I pray.
“Lord, it’s been a rough year, but please just this once, ignore me.
Let the drugs, the pain or the lust be my way out. Because. . .(sigh). . . . fill in the blank.”
 
May two,
Six months sober.
Because of that night in October.
Now every day I rise,
I go around, look at people and do not surmise.
I strive to have mercy.
And strive to have gramercy.
 
People ridicule
And mock.
But some gaze with envy
For God gave me life,
Gave me reason
And gave me the forgiveness
Strength,
Love,
Hope,
Mercy
Grace,
Courage to go…
“To go and make disciples of all nations,
Baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
And teaching them to obey everything Jesus has commanded you.
And surely Jesus is with you always, to the very end of the age.”

​
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Love and Faith,
Melanie J. Lofgren